Act One: April
Mad
Americans: I am tired of this crap. I wish restaurants were
back open.
The
Majority of the Scientific Medical Community: I think we need
to try to stay home for a while longer. This is tough, yes, but let’s dig in
for the good of the country!
Act Two: May
Mad
Americans: I am so tired of this crap; and I am also tired of
these children walking around my house eating all the food and soaking up the
wi-fi. I pray to God they’re back to school in August!
The
Majority of the Scientific Medical Community: Yes, kids do need
school; this really is a difficult time. Hopefully, with social distancing, we
can slow the virus down over the summer! Fingers crossed and stay home!
Act Three: June
Mad
Americans: This is stupid, man! People are out
protesting; I’m going to the beach! I just want things back to
normal!
The
Majority of the Scientific Medical Community: We're working on it, champ. Let’s, uh…let’s not…lose
focus.
Act Four: July
Mad
Americans: Everybody sucks.
The
Majority of the Scientific Medical Community: True, but I
think we might have some good news. Things were confusing starting out, that’s
how science works, but after a few months of crunching numbers, we’re pretty
sure that we’ll be able to safely open up restaurants, get our kids back to
school and even return to some kind of normalcy by early fall if everyone—get
this—would just wear a simple face mask when they go out in…
Mad
Americans: Gonna' stop you right, there, Soy Boy! No.
The
Majority of the Scientific Medical Community:
The
Actual End
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