"A Bad Feeling..."

In a world filled with such warnings, earlier this summer we witnessed yet another sign of the end of all things: a Star Wars movie that won’t make bank.

 Released on Memorial Day weekend, Solo, a film that answers all questions—asked and otherwise—about a millennial-aged Han Solo, actually did do well at the box office for its first week. However, sales quickly dropped afterwards and experts predict that the pricey film will become the first Star Wars movie in history to actually lose money.

What?

How?  

Aren’t Star Wars movies supposed to be the Homewood Grill of the movie business? So delicious, so highly anticipated that we jot down their opening date on our calendars, scheduling other life events, like weddings and funerals, around their release?

What happened?

Now, before discussing a topic—film marketing—of which I have no real understanding, I will begin by saying that Solo is a fine movie. If you’re still waiting to see it, there is plenty in the film to like and nothing, really, to get you too upset. (Far removed from any Skywalker family drama and the cult-like whininess that goes along with it, Solo really is a stand-alone movie; a “popcorn” heist that just happens to take place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, somewhere in between episodes three and four.)

 The acting is fine, the script is fine, the dialogue is OK; it’s a Star Wars movie. There is running and jumping and things blow up. Unfortunately, the producers made the very same set of mistakes that so many of us in our modern culture have a tendency to make: a disastrous combination of over-sharing coupled with bad timing.

Now, as it pertains to “oversharing,” keep in mind that Solo was released a mere five months after the incredibly successful but also deliriously hyped Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. To put into context, the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope, was released in 1977. That film was a legitimate “blockbuster,” which justified a second movie, The Empire Strikes Back. Episode V, however, was not released until 1980, and the climax of the original trilogy, Return of the Jedi, was released a full three years after that.

Although I would never have admitted it at the time, waiting for the next film was always part of the original magic. There was no lack of anticipation for the release of The Phantom Menace in 1999, and then the other two films in 2002 and 2005 respectively. Granted, these movies were not as good as the first trio, but they certainly didn’t lose money.

And, again, nearly a decade stood between the release of Episode III and Episode VII, which went on to earn around two billions dollars worldwide at the box office.

Star Wars has become so popular, however, so ridiculously shoved into every nook and cranny of our mass culture –toys, cartoons, t-shirts, one, ahem, click-bait article after another— that the magic of anticipation is totally gone, sacrificed into the Rancor pit of market saturation.

The handlers of Star Wars, thus, have become our bored Aunt Betty on Facebook, inundating our newsfeeds with eight political commentaries, four recipes, a set of obscure motivational quotes that she doesn’t even realize contradict each other, and a picture of her pet cat wearing a new scarf.

Every. Day.

And I love Star Wars, but as I was discussing with a fellow fan a few months ago, I was not really “looking forward,” to watching Solo in the first place, at least not in the same way I anticipated the new Avengers film, which actually brings us to our second idea – bad timing.

Solo had no business being released in May, not with Thanos was still scouring the galaxy for his lost jewels and Deadpool’s Cable also doing something fierce. (I haven’t seen Deadpool but the lame joke here is that both characters are played by Josh Brolin.)

      Regardless, countless life lessons have been gleaned from this franchise over the years, and now, thankfully, we can add a few others.

For starters, greed, like fear, can lead to the dark side. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm a few years ago, fans, including me, greeted the news with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Yes, this meant new Star Wars movies to look forward to, but at what cost? Well, now we know. Instead of nurturing their golden goose and allowing those eggs to incubate, Disney is trying to make as many omelets as they can. Bad idea. Eggs are delicious but too many will kill you.

Secondly, we should not be like Aunt Betty. A little mystery is kind of cool. For example, where did Han Solo get his blaster? Who cares? We need to keep some things to ourselves. Silence; a relaxed lull in the conversation; a day or two, or eight, of not reading something inflammatory on Twitter; all of these fond absences give more meaning and value to what we do decide to share.

Finally, do not release your movie when Avengers Part Three is still in theatres.

Iron Man, Captain America, Thor? Spider Man, Black Panther, Hulk? Every single Guardian of the Galaxy? I’m sorry, but they were all in that movie, plus a dozen other superheroes ready to run and jump and blow things up. Are you going to buy tickets to a barbecue with a sloppy Joe sandwich in your back pack? Think about it. Be aware of your surroundings. Are you bringing your own burnt pie to a Niemerg’s picnic? They make pies!

Timing really is everything, and had this movie been released in December, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

Thankfully, a full eighteen months separate us from the next Star Wars movie, which means at least some of the competition will be on Christmas break.