Deo Volente

This morning I was rummaging through old emails, tossing out the ones I

no longer needed: field trips, due dates, practice schedules; an entire

springtime full of plans.

I'll know better next year, though.

Deo Volente.

Rising

There’s a saying in the Uncertified Life Coaching Community: “Once you’ve done something for three weeks you’ve likely done it decent for two.” Therefore, as a service during these unprecedented times, I offer you now the following Uncertified Life Coaching Strategies for Being Quarantined with School Age Children.

Step One: Have a schedule. Left to their own devices, children will almost always end up in the pantry. Do what you can to create a schedule, and put “snacks” on it. This will give them something to look forward to, which also leads us to our next step.

Step Two: Have a carrot. Carrots are good for you. They will help your immune system, which in turn will help you not die. Children also need figurative “carrots” to get them to do what you want. As an example, my kids like to play gadgets. During quarantine, however, we have taken advantage of this neurological dependency to get them to do what we want. This might seem crass, but over the years we have learned that parenting is really just a half hazard combination of threats, bribes, and misinterpreted advice.

            The way this works in our home is simple. Every morning before they wake up I hide their gadgets. To find their gadgets they need to solve a riddle, but before they can even hear the riddle they have an increasingly complicated list of chores and activities they need to accomplish: clean their rooms, for example; pick up their laundry, do their school work, go outside and play like those quaint children back in horse times. On a good day they don’t hear their riddle until well after lunch, which gives me time to make up a riddle, which is usually pretty lame.

Step Three: Have patience. Although this is not the first pandemic that totally upended our way of life and it likely won’t be the last, this is the first time it’s happened in a long, long time. No one living, really, has any working experience with this, so everyone needs to just chill out.

 By and large, and despite what experts who study communicable diseases have been telling policy makers for decades, we were not ready for this, and by “we” I mean Earth people. Should people eat undercooked bats? No, they shouldn’t, but pointing fingers is not a good way to stop pandemics. Getting angry and anxious is not going to make coronavirus go away, it’s not going to end the quarantine anytime sooner, and it’s also going to have the unfortunate side effect of decreasing the very immune system that’s designed to help you in the first place.

Finally, have grace, for yourself, your kids, and for everyone involved. We have all learned a number of interesting terms these last few months, and one of the trendiest is “Remote Learning.” My wife and I are both school teachers, and so our take on this concept is complicated and also evolving. Regardless, one thing I would suggest everyone do right now-students, parents and teachers-is to just breathe. Breathe deeply and slowly and throughout the day.  I have only been remote teaching for about eleven minutes, so I honestly don’t know that much about it, but I have figured out what remote learning is not.

For starters, remote learning is not home schooling. Home schooling is almost always a choice made by parents who have the time and resources to home school. As a parent, you are not expected to be “home schooling” your kid right now. Many of you are essential workers who leave the home; those of you staying at home are also busy. Your main job right now is to keep your family safe.

 Also, remote learning is not online learning. Online learning is also a choice made with the assumption that every student has one-to-one access to functional technology. If your student has their own laptop with consistent Internet, then consider that a blessing. Many of our students do not have this technology, however, and those who do are often sharing that device with multiple siblings. Regardless, simply do your best and, as mentioned, breathe.

A couple weeks ago I suggested that our struggle right now is akin to a biological world war, not because the virus itself is so deadly, but because the conflict is global and historic. Another analogy that seems fitting, right now, though, is that of a flood.

Despite the warnings, despite ample time to prepare, the dam has been breached. It’s busted, and the water is rising. Fast. People are scrambling; people are drowning.

Remote Learning is not perfect, nor is this analogy. However, if we consider Remote Learning as the sandbags trying to replace the levy, we begin to better understand its function. The levy will be rebuilt. Schools will reopen, but in the meantime, everyone needs to do everything they can to stay dry.