Due Date

 

One of my favorite super powers - and I’ll admit it is low grade - is my ability to eat almost expired food. As the dad in the house, one of my jobs is to eat potentially dangerous calories. If some turkey has hidden too long in the back of the fridge, for example, or if some fruit has headed south, I will sometimes eat it. I hate to throw away food, and for some reason I don’t get sick. I guess my stomach is just coated with some amazing healing juice or something.

It’s my gift.

Over the years I’ve also been able to hone an almost uncanny ability to tell time. Like some mutant freak, I can look at a clock and predict how long it will take to go somewhere. No one else in my family has inherited this skill, unfortunately, so left to their own devices we are often late. This is why I’m glad we’re not the Von Trapps, as there’s no way we would have made it across the Alps before the Nazis caught us and made us sing more.

 Perhaps my most impressive gift, however, is my willingness to offer unsolicited advice. As many of you are painfully aware, I have been an uncertified life coach for much longer than necessary, and, since this is an election year, my mailbag is brimming with questions.

So, without further silliness, let’s dig in and dig out! (Trademark)

Question One: I’ve been driving the same car for years now without any trouble, but some folks suggest I replace the tires with four new ones. Tires aren’t cheap, though, and I hardly drive more than seven miles a day. Any suggestions?

Answer One: Well, I’m no mechanic, but I do know that tires are an important part of your vehicle and should be inflated at all times. I would recommend replacing them sooner than later. After all, your car is a major purchase and safety should be at the forefront of your decision making.

Question Two: Some of the exterior door frames around my house are starting to weather, but they’re for doors I rarely use. Besides that, I can’t fix them myself, and I’m afraid if I call a professional they’ll laugh at me. Any advice?

Answer Two: Again, I’m no carpenter, but without frames the doors will probably fall down. Frames will cost money to fix, of course, but your home is a major investment and it’s best to fix problems as soon as you can.

Question Three: To improve outdated school buildings and promote student safety, my county has once again put the “1 Percent Sales Tax” issue on the ballot, but I’m really struggling to decide how to vote. From an ideological standpoint, I feel any tax increase is a bad idea, and I don’t currently have kids who attend a public school. However, I’ve also spent some time in the older schools as a volunteer, and they really do need some updates. What’s your take on this?

Answer: Great question! Your vote will absolutely make a difference, and, as both a parent and school teacher, I do have some advice to offer, which is this - You should absolutely vote “yes” for this proposal.

Before discussing the details, however, we need to take a step back and realize this is not an ideological issue. We don’t bicker back and forth about the political ramifications of automotive repair, so why would we do so when it comes to an investment as important as our children?

Our public schools need updates. Our students need resources that we, the public, have a responsibility to provide, whether we have family members enrolled or not. Our schools represent us as a community. Our schools attract (or repel) both long-term business investors and the weekend guest, and this proposal offers a simple, straightforward way to help local districts achieve that mission without an additional burden on homeowners.

Besides that, most surrounding communities have already taken advantage of this balanced source of revenue because it’s a rational way to finance their school buildings. Anytime we shop in Mattoon or Champaign, for example, we are already supporting those students with an identical tax. I’ve had the privilege of teaching Effingham County students for close to twenty-seven years, and I assure you that our young people are just as worthy of our investment.

In closing, this solution offers the adults in the community a simple way to answer one of their most important questions: “What is the best way to finance our school buildings?” Voting “Yes” for this proposal is not only a gift to our students who attend public schools, it’s a long-term investment in the community they call home.